My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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