So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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