break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
