Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
