so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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