I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Jerry, you need to find god
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
