so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize