i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
