He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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