I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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