do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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