i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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