did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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