where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
