You work out of a Hotel?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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