So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
