New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
