I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
