If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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