Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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