I'm lost and stupid without you.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
