how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
