She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
