M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
