No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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