So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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