You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
