I didn't shave. On purpose
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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