Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
