he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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