508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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