you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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