Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
