I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
