There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
