I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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