Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
