i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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