Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
