gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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