My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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