Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
