$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
