; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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