I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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