So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
