soooo we both peed the bed last night...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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