I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
