Ambien. No doubt about it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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