it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
