she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize