chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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