I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize