You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
