just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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