its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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